Audience

I had sought to feel again; 
Benumbed, jaded, 
I stood before thee, 
Vulnerable shadow of what I'd been, 
Inconclusive stories behind me. 

I sought to lose that strength, 
Regime of cold rationale; 
And if I could lose myself 
In the intensity of those eyes, 
What will become of that bygone self? 

I feared nothing, wanted nothing, 
No conscience, no ethics, 
Duties forgone last lifetime, 
Only to see them flee back, 
Returning to where I started. 

Compassionate, innocent you, 
Pouring forth your heart 
Upon scars and bleeding wounds, 
How dare I pull you in 
To this bewildered chaos? 

Patient, perceptive you, 
Sheltering my open scars 
Listening between the sobs, 
If one day you were gone, 
Where would I turn? 

Naïve, dedicated you, 
Believed me somehow perfect, 
Deserving of your pedestal, 
Not as the reflections show, 
Broken driftwood on this altar. 

In some forgotten existence, 
We were one and the same, 
Seen the world, kind and cruel, 
Someone must cross a river, 
And leave memories to the wind.

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